Prom w/ me?

It's no secret that prom costs are ridiculous. Countless print, broadcast, and Internet outlets have run exposes on the high price of proms for years. Financially, the prom has been out of control for a long, long time. Now, it's spilled into the romance arena.

You would not even believe the lengths that kids are going to to ask out their prom dates. Girls expect guys to find creative ways to ask them to the prom. Just today while driving to school, the message, "Prom? TMT" was spelled out in Styrofoam cups, stuck through the chain link fence guarding a public walkway suspended over the Interstate. Boys have written/painted "Will you go to the prom with me?" in cul-de-sacs, across the threshold of front doors, and in creatively uploaded sequences of photos on Facebook.

I can remember when all that a guy had to do to get a girl to go to the prom with him was ask, "Will you go to the prom with me?" On the phone was OK. In the hall at school was fine. Even by note worked. But today, girls expect a production number accompanying the invitation. Methods formerly used to propose marriage are hijacked for a night of overpriced dining and dancing. I think that's sad.

It's just one more way that the world has sucked meaning out of the sacredness of marriage. Use all the good stuff on the prom because you might have to try out a lot of relationships before you find one that feels right enough to commit to in marriage. And even then, you can just roll over one morning and say, "Hey, how'd you like to wake up as Mrs. Me sometime in the unspecified future?" There you go.

As parents, I think we need to encourage our kids to wait for marriage for a lot of things, not just the physical union. Marriage carries with it privileges that ought to be left in its context alone. Wildly creative proposals. Elegant one-of-a-kind gowns. Handsome suits. Oceans of flowers. Feasts. Romantic slow dances. Late-night talks. Physical intimacy. Memories treasured for a lifetime. Those are wedding things.

Proms should be all about celebrating friendship and youth, not straining to reach unattainable expectations. Looking back at the prom should make us smile, not cause us to well up with tears of regret.

Mom and Dad: ponder what you can do to take the pressure off of the prom. Can you host a group dinner before the dance or a breakfast after? Would you open your house to a film-festival of old-school dance movies? Or an ice cream sundae party? Or a video game tournament? Would you give kids a public place to come before and after the prom itself, one that will be well-chaperoned and give them every reason NOT to do things... "big" or "little"... that are better left until marriage?

They're growing up so fast, but they're not there yet. Savor this occasion by parenting actively instead of stepping back and letting them pretend they're grown ups. Let this be another chance for you to teach them God's wise ways of doing life while they are still in their youth and still in your home.